I noticed when I was in primary school that it wasn’t the white boys or girls making fun of my hair or the shade of my skin, advice and that rather it was the black boys. Black girls have no hair, viagra 100mg and the dark skinned ones either look like cockroaches or gorillas. Black girls are loud and arrogant, and that’s why no one wants to marry them.
The idea of hating members of the black race and certain features of it has been internalised, especially by black men. I heard someone once say to a black boy that whenever he wanted to say something rude to or about a black girl, he should write it down and give it to his mum. As satisfying as it may be to witness his mother react to whatever it is he wrote down and giving him what he deserves for it, writing down such comments won’t solve this problem.
Why is there a lack of support for black women, and why does the majority of it seemingly come from black men? In other words, what is it with Misogynoir? I found some blogs online that provided me with some rough answers to this question. They were both the same type of blog – one for black males and one for black females. It’s a safe space for them to anonymously confess something in relation to being a black person, the struggles they face, or anything on their minds. I noticed that a lot of the entries from the men’s blog related heavily to insecurities and feeling like a man. Many of they had suffered some type of abuse in the past, and the implications of it on their lives were prominent. The entries from the women’s blog were more about self-esteem and feeling good enough for themselves, along with becoming comfortable in their own skin.
What I gathered from reading these confessions is how much black men and women influence opinions of each other, and how we reinforce them. A generalisation would be to say that a black woman suffers from self-esteem issues due to the comments passed on to them by black men. These comments are a result of an internalised insecurity and an anger that needed to be released. It is released as raw misogynoir. Unfortunately, it is easy to release such anger towards black women as the consequences of offending a black woman seem to be lower than the consequences of offending anyone else in the world.
As a result of my conclusion, I came up with a solution, which is also a challenge. We need as many men uplifting black men as much as we have women uplifting black women. YouTube is a prime example of this. There are so many channels aimed at black women encouraging us to love ourselves and grow in confidence, however there aren’t as many for men. If more black males became figures that others could look up to, black men will received a less distorted version of themselves, and as a result, have a less distorted view of black women. It’s ambitious, but it’s a start. Perhaps when we start, we can solve the issue.