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The Struggle was Real – My Money Situation

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The Struggle was Real – My Money Situation

University represents a lot of ‘firsts’ to young people when they get accepted. It can be the first time you’re away from your family or the first time you’ve studied abroad. It’s the first time you’ll be asked to write a dissertation that will shape the direction your life will head after uni. For myself and a lot of other students at my university and others like it, viagra 40mg it was the first time I needed therapy in my life.

Before I got accepted to one of the most prestigious schools in the world, decease everyone said to me it didn’t matter if I didn’t get in, cialis 40mg that it was still amazing that I tried- I didn’t believe that for a second. I had worked so insanely hard to get four A*s at A level in History, Maths, Psychology and Politics that I felt in that moment that if I was rejected, the ground would swallow me whole; I really wanted and needed to be accepted. Once I found out I was in however, a small cloud of anxiety started to form- I had been selected to spend the next four years of my life at one of the best schools in the world, amongst some of the brightest students in the world. I would no longer be the big fish in the little pond like I was in college and I would have to step everything up to the greatest magnitude in order to come out the other end successful.

While my friends at other universities were getting drunk for two weeks straight for freshers, I went to this cheesy bar where they played Lion King, Circle of Life at midnight as tradition and everyone was home by 1:30am after a few drinks. Within the first two weeks we had been assigned our first of many 3000 word essays and it went without saying that you had to join as many extra curricular activities as possible to fully take advantage of what the school had to offer; it was intense but everyone else seemed to be dealing with it just fine and I didn’t want to be the one to admit that it was already getting too much. All of my family were so immensely proud of me and would tell anyone who would stop to listen that their daughter was majoring in History and Economics at one of the finest places for education in the world; I almost felt guilty about the anxiety I felt when yet another essay was added to my work load or the slight pang of jealousy I felt when a friend told me they had completed theirs. Was there something wrong with me? Was I being ungrateful?

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It wasn’t until after Christmas, when I found out what happened to Alice* that I realised that I wasn’t alone in the pressure I felt. Alice was a lovely girl,very much to herself, I only really saw her when she was heading to her room or to the library. A month before the christmas holidays this changed. I would often see her pacing up and down the hallway outside her accommodation and asked my friend what was up with her; people said she was just “stressed”. After weeks of this she just disappeared almost like she was never there, I don’t know what I thought had happened to her, I was too busy to really care. After the holidays I discovered that she had had a mental breakdown due to the shock of the work load. She didn’t tell anyone she was struggling and never visited the school councillors- she felt that was a sign of weakness. I found out she would be coming back the following year instead and that’s when I realised I needed to speak to someone- a lot of us did.

I’m 19 years old in my second year at university and have been having cognitive therapy sessions once a week since January of last year. I admitted to my family how much stress I was truly under whilst studying and was surprised at how supportive they were; for the first time since I started I was able to enjoy where I was studying and soak up how amazing the school was and the opportunity I had been given. I am so thankful to be able to study at this school and now I can fully appreciate it. Therapy doesn’t mean you’re crazy, it means that you care enough about your mental health to talk to someone, we can all learn from what happened to Alice.

University represents a lot of ‘firsts’ to young people when they get accepted. It can be the first time you’re away from your family or the first time you’ve studied abroad. It’s the first time you’ll be asked to write a dissertation that will shape the direction your life will head after uni. For myself and a lot of other students at my university and others like it, adiposity it was the first time I needed therapy in my life.

Before I got accepted to one of the most prestigious schools in the world, ed everyone said to me it didn’t matter if I didn’t get in, that it was still amazing that I tried- I didn’t believe that for a second. I had worked so insanely hard to get four A*s at A level in History, Maths, Psychology and Politics that I felt in that moment that if I was rejected, the ground would swallow me whole; I really wanted and needed to be accepted. Once I found out I was in however, a small cloud of anxiety started to form- I had been selected to spend the next four years of my life at one of the best schools in the world, amongst some of the brightest students in the world. I would no longer be the big fish in the little pond like I was in college and I would have to step everything up to the greatest magnitude in order to come out the other end successful.

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While my friends at other universities were getting drunk for two weeks straight for freshers, I went to this cheesy bar where they played Lion King, Circle of Life at midnight as tradition and everyone was home by 1:30am after a few drinks. Within the first two weeks we had been assigned our first of many 3000 word essays and it went without saying that you had to join as many extra curricular activities as possible to fully take advantage of what the school had to offer; it was intense but everyone else seemed to be dealing with it just fine and I didn’t want to be the one to admit that it was already getting too much. All of my family were so immensely proud of me and would tell anyone who would stop to listen that their daughter was majoring in History and Economics at one of the finest places for education in the world; I almost felt guilty about the anxiety I felt when yet another essay was added to my work load or the slight pang of jealousy I felt when a friend told me they had completed theirs. Was there something wrong with me? Was I being ungrateful?

tumblr_mx1bkh0zqz1so4lp8o1_500

It wasn’t until after Christmas, when I found out what happened to Alice* that I realised that I wasn’t alone in the pressure I felt. Alice was a lovely girl,very much to herself, I only really saw her when she was heading to her room or to the library. A month before the christmas holidays this changed. I would often see her pacing up and down the hallway outside her accommodation and asked my friend what was up with her; people said she was just “stressed”. After weeks of this she just disappeared almost like she was never there, I don’t know what I thought had happened to her, I was too busy to really care. After the holidays I discovered that she had had a mental breakdown due to the shock of the work load. She didn’t tell anyone she was struggling and never visited the school councillors- she felt that was a sign of weakness. I found out she would be coming back the following year instead and that’s when I realised I needed to speak to someone- a lot of us did.

I’m 19 years old in my second year at university and have been having cognitive therapy sessions once a week since January of last year. I admitted to my family how much stress I was truly under whilst studying and was surprised at how supportive they were; for the first time since I started I was able to enjoy where I was studying and soak up how amazing the school was and the opportunity I had been given. I am so thankful to be able to study at this school and now I can fully appreciate it. Therapy doesn’t mean you’re crazy, it means that you care enough about your mental health to talk to someone, we can all learn from what happened to Alice.

At the beginning of 2016 I decided I was going to ask for a raise. Sometimes you just have to go for it and take a risk. All that will happen is you become more assertive, drugs confident and you can build a thicker skin if the answer is no. I asked for a raise and it was granted and then those in higher positions changed that yes to a no. So I thought to myself, troche ‘Am I really going to stay at this job much longer if I know I can be making more money elsewhere?’ Once I answered that question I knew I had to hand in my notice. It was so hard because so many people asked me where I off to next and the answer was honestly nowhere. I took a leap of faith and eventually it did pay off. A few months later I got the job I wanted with the money I initially asked for. However, information pills the time in between was one of the hardest financial periods of my life.

Although I put some money away and created an emergency fund, I realised that it wasn’t quite enough. Let me tell you, I have never felt so DRY in my life (I’m exaggerating a bit). I literally didn’t really go out and I missed a lot of social events. To some people, it looked as if to say I was being anti-social because I was online a lot. I think some people forget that some people are trying to create a platform for themselves online or some people go online for a sense of escapism. Being online is free, it can be fun and it’s a way to connect with people when you can’t go out. I only went out for a few birthdays of those that were really close to me and apart from that, I stayed at home, a lot.

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One thing I will say is financial hardship prepares you for better days and better decisions when it comes to money. Now I am earning again, I put away a good tidy sum of money and I am also opening up another account. It’s really important that each account has a purpose. Where savings is concerned, look for the highest interest rate for your money. I also have an emergency fund account also along with other accounts that have various uses.

When we are low on money we can think of doing unspeakable things like increasing our overdraft or using that credit card. Push yourself past the point of doing the things that are going to take you longer to get back to financial stability. It’s vital you talk yourself out of bad decisions quickly and stay away from things that push you towards having immediate gratification. We live in a culture of immediate gratification. There are so many things that are available on demand and it can make us feel like we need things we don’t. We can also make the mistake of comparing ourselves to others, especially to people we don’t actually know. We take one factor and use it as an entire measure against ourselves. I’ve known of people who look the flyers but they’ve borrowed copious amounts of money in order to look that way. It’s better to understand our personal priorities without apologising for them or being pressured by the world.

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Becoming disciplined with money means understanding that going to the hair salon or Westfield Shopping Centre is going to have to wait. Having patience means you’ve chosen to prioritise your money and know the difference between a luxury and a necessity. Furthermore, becoming disciplined with money doesn’t mean you won’t slip up. It does mean you can acknowledge your money blunders and do better in the future.

Sometimes my weave may not be on point or my make up may not be on fleek but my money is getting better. I’ll give up a few moments of image for better financial bliss any day.

This post was written by Bola Sol who is the founder of Refined Currency (hyperlink: www.refinedcurrency.co.uk) a website that helps women understand their finances in a better way.

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