In your life, you will one day have to make a decision whether to put yourself first or others. The decision could be less difficult if you practice self love, but if you lack don't, then it could be quite hard. Could you cut off toxic people you've known for years? Can you speak up and truly say how you feel in any situation? Could you live without the person who could clearly live without you? Well if you can, then you are on a good path. But if you can’t take time to focus on self love we are here to help you get there.
How to find self love
Self love first starts with your mental health. One way to improve it is to accept yourself as you are, by embracing every positive or negative thing about you. Self acceptance allows you to see your mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. After that, the next step is to have discipline, which allows you to be in control of yourself in any situation. Choosing to stay alone rather than being around people who don't benefit you is an example of discipline. Next, self worth is one of the most important things to have. Self worth is knowing what you deserve and not settling for less. You can practice self worth by writing down your greatest qualities and affirming them. Finally, self care, finding time for yourself, will help you on your journey towards self love. Self care can mean putting yourself first, forgiving yourself, or doing something calming. Self care is influenced by one's interests, therefore it is different for everyone. It could also be baking, learning something new, painting, getting your nails done, etc. A way to maintain self care is doing something that you love at least once a week.
One thing that is important to state, however, is that everyone has a different point of view on self love. But when some women were asked for their thoughts on self love, they all gave variations of the same answer.
To Maycee, self love means "having a high standard for yourself, like caring about your well-being and happiness before making a decision and being comfortable in your own skin to the point you don’t need to seek another person's approval to feel satisfied in what your doing". Similarly, for Monica, self love is simply "being kind mentally. It’s loving yourself when you don’t have everything together".
When I then asked Brianna for her view on self love, she answered: "Self love is the appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that help reinforce your physical, physiological and spiritual growth. It is having high expectations for your own well-being and happiness. It means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please other people. Self love means knowing your worth and not settling for something less than what you deserve."
How self love affects your life
Self love can positively affect your life in many ways. At your job, loving yourself can give you energy and motivate you to complete your tasks. You begin to develop a healthy self esteem which plays a big role in your mental health, learning to put yourself first and do what’s best for you. It can give you a leap of faith and help you make decisions to empower yourself.
When you are aware of your value, you can have a healthy relationship with the people around you. Many studies show that if you love yourself you are less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression. So, when you learn to accept yourself, you create a happy loving environment to thrive in.
How to maintain self love in a relationship
Having self love is fundamental for every aspect of one's life, even in a relationship. In this case, you will be able to enter a relationship feeling strong, confident, and secure. You will know what to put up with and when to walk away. You instantly will know that you deserve better and how to leave your partner if they are not meeting your standards. When you have self love you are able to give healthy love.
How can we practice self love in a relationship? One way is to not settle for anything less than what you ask for. It’s a way to keep you from losing yourself. Practicing self love can keep you busy achieving your goals while your partner is working on theirs. They will value your time when they can see that you’ll still be okay without them.
How to spread (self) love
Encouraging self love in others can not only help those people, but it can also help you. There are numerous ways to do this, like giving to a good cause, giving a homeless person a meal with a positive note attached, or by telling someone important in your life what they mean to you. Making someone smile is a simple way you could spread love.
Self love is a journey that doesn’t really have a destination. It all starts within, and as soon as you work on the person you are inside, then it will show on the outside. You can always improve on it. Self love is endless. Practicing it can help you be the best version of you.
Written by Stephanie Morara
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