You’re probably asking what is a situationship? A situationship is when two people come together and act as if they’re in a relationship without any real commitment. 100% of the time one person is actually committed because they don’t know how to properly express themselves and stand for what they want. I remember my first and last situationship like it was yesterday. It was my freshman year of college and my Fall semester. To say I was excited about being away from home would be an understatement. I couldn’t believe I would finally be living on my own for the next four years without anyone telling me what I could and couldn’t do. What a time to be alive.
My school’s cafeteria was considered to be a mini lounge. You’d literally go there to eat, socialize, and sometimes even party. I remember watching my soon to be “sitautionship” glide through the cafeteria doors all by himself. He looked absolutely gorgeous, to say the least. The rest was pretty much history. Because I had never experienced a real relationship ever in my life, I was extremely naïve to what a relationship even meant. Most of all, I had no idea how to express what I truly wanted. Instead of being honest with myself, I wasted an entire two years of my life waiting to magically be claimed by someone who didn’t want to be committed.
It was quite easy for me to fall into a “situationship” without knowing. I didn’t understand that playing the girlfriend role to someone who didn’t want a relationship, would only in essence never make him want to commit. He was completely fine with me being fine without a title. Why buy the milk when you can get the whole cow for free? If you think “situationships” are easier than relationships, you’re wrong. They are worse. When you’re in a “situationship” your mind becomes pre-conditioned to believe that you’re being a dealt a favor. When in reality you’re losing out.
It’s no secret that this generation has become pretty lax when it comes to commitment. No one wants to be alone, but everyone’s scared to take a chance. No one wants to be vulnerable, but everyone wants to be trusted. No balance and no communication is the perfect storm for a situationship. Don’t fall into the trap.
Here are 3 ways to avoid this millennial common trend of falling into a “situationship” :
1. Be clear with what you want from the beginning.
Often times as woman we like to hold back. We don’t want to push men away with our true intentions, but rather sugar coat what we want and how we feel. This is the worst possible thing you can do. State what you want and what you’re looking for from the start. If they decide to leave, they weren’t worth it anyway. You’re the prize.
2. Don’t stick around if you’re not comfortable.
You only have one life to live, why stick around in a situation you’re not 100% happy with? Stop thinking you have to be “patient” with men and start doing what pleases you. If they don’t put your needs first, why should you?
3. Rely on actions, not words:
Most of the time we know when a guy is bullshitting. Listen to your intuition. Pay attention to what he does over what he says. If he wants to play house without commitment, ditch him fast. Remember that there are tons of guys out here are willing to give you everything and more. Don’t settle.
In 2017, more women are leading in entrepreneurship than ever before. We are leading in education, and most importantly we are resilient. We don’t have to take what’s handed to us anymore. We can go out and create exactly what we want when we want, and who we want it with! It’s okay to demand what you deserve and take nothing short of your request. Stay true to yourself and always know your worth.
Written by By Taylor Williams