in

Love

How I’m Taking Control of My Health

[Disclaimer: I couldn’t write a feminist piece without noting the importance of intersectionality and warning you that this is gonna be a pretty hetero-normative dialogue as I can only speak from my own straight girl experiences. And for my non cis-ters, more about cheap I see you and if this can be of help to you too then just switch up those pronouns, side effects boo.]

There’s nothing quite like a heartbreak to make you realise that you and the person you once believed to be your equal aren’t so similar after all. If that sentence stung you a little, I’m sorry sis and it will get easier. But bear with me while I explain.

If you are a woman who identifies as a feminist (*gun fingers*) then you will be pretty familiar with the exhaustion of repeating that men and women are fundamentally the same, it’s just that “different people are different”. But when you’ve been stripped bare by the breakdown of a relationship, you’re left questioning just how true those statements are.

image01

It’s a well known cliche that men and women deal with breakups very differently; society tells us that girls will stay home crying into an obscenely large tub of ice cream, and boys will be out drinking beer with the lads by the very next day. This is something I’ll call the feminisation of heartbreak (i.e some bullshit) and mandem if you’re reading this – it’s okay for you to cry into your ice cream too. Also, I’m low key lactose intolerant my ex doesn’t drink beer, so this analogy could never work. But that’s besides the point. The point is that this has been studied at length, and research tells us that women process the ending of a relationship in an entirely different way to men, often more quickly and more effectively due to stronger support systems and being socially conditioned to talking more openly about our emotions. To put it simply, women will grieve in the early stages of a breakup before they move on, and men will go to extreme lengths to find distractions rather than solutions to their pain. These are statements which a few months ago I would’ve shaken my head at and then proceeded to give the “we’re all the same” speech to, but the uncomfortable truth is that men and women genuinely possess different mechanisms for coping with all situations, whether pleasant or traumatic. And an even truer truth – there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

image02

Beginning to set yourself apart from your partner, both in literal and figurative terms, can be a real catalyst for growth as a woman and as an individual. For me, this lead to a much greater sense of feminist identity, as I was forced to regain some of my independence after having invested so much time into the man that I loved. We all know the common misconception is that feminists are man-haters by definition, and because of this there is a lot of confusion about how feminism and romantic love intersect.

Truthfully, feminists fall in love just as hard as anyone else and falling out of it is just as painful too. The difference is, and I can only speak from my experience here, that we tend to be a lot harder on ourselves about our recovery. Being a strong woman, there is a sense of residing guilt in giving into being truly sad about a man. You can’t help but compare yourself to other women you admire, and beat yourself up for not being able to soldier on in the way that you assume they would. You ask yourself “What would Beyoncé say if she saw me like this?” which just makes you cry more. Because Beyoncé.

image00

But I’m going to let you in on a little secret, one that many people don’t know – that there is great strength in vulnerability. It is not weak, or un-feminist, to admit defeat at the hands of a man. In fact, being honest with yourself is the only way you can pick yourself up and be an even stronger, even more badass woman. And allowing yourself time to grieve and truly feel your feelings is exactly why women tend to recover faster, and arguably more healthily than men do. Because we are amazing. You are amazing. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Yes, you. Healing is never a linear process, and you’re doing the best you can.

Written by Sophia Joannides

Twiiter/ Instagram: @fiaurora
[Disclaimer: I couldn’t write a feminist piece without noting the importance of intersectionality and warning you that this is gonna be a pretty hetero-normative dialogue as I can only speak from my own straight girl experiences. And for my non cis-ters, more about I see you and if this can be of help to you too then just switch up those pronouns, visit boo.]

There’s nothing quite like a heartbreak to make you realise that you and the person you once believed to be your equal aren’t so similar after all. If that sentence stung you a little, I’m sorry sis and it will get easier. But bear with me while I explain.

If you are a woman who identifies as a feminist (*gun fingers*) then you will be pretty familiar with the exhaustion of repeating that men and women are fundamentally the same, it’s just that “different people are different”. But when you’ve been stripped bare by the breakdown of a relationship, you’re left questioning just how true those statements are.

image01

It’s a well known cliche that men and women deal with breakups very differently; society tells us that girls will stay home crying into an obscenely large tub of ice cream, and boys will be out drinking beer with the lads by the very next day. This is something I’ll call the feminisation of heartbreak (i.e some bullshit) and mandem if you’re reading this – it’s okay for you to cry into your ice cream too. Also, I’m low key lactose intolerant my ex doesn’t drink beer, so this analogy could never work. But that’s besides the point. The point is that this has been studied at length, and research tells us that women process the ending of a relationship in an entirely different way to men, often more quickly and more effectively due to stronger support systems and being socially conditioned to talking more openly about our emotions. To put it simply, women will grieve in the early stages of a breakup before they move on, and men will go to extreme lengths to find distractions rather than solutions to their pain. These are statements which a few months ago I would’ve shaken my head at and then proceeded to give the “we’re all the same” speech to, but the uncomfortable truth is that men and women genuinely possess different mechanisms for coping with all situations, whether pleasant or traumatic. And an even truer truth – there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

image02

Beginning to set yourself apart from your partner, both in literal and figurative terms, can be a real catalyst for growth as a woman and as an individual. For me, this lead to a much greater sense of feminist identity, as I was forced to regain some of my independence after having invested so much time into the man that I loved. We all know the common misconception is that feminists are man-haters by definition, and because of this there is a lot of confusion about how feminism and romantic love intersect.

Truthfully, feminists fall in love just as hard as anyone else and falling out of it is just as painful too. The difference is, and I can only speak from my experience here, that we tend to be a lot harder on ourselves about our recovery. Being a strong woman, there is a sense of residing guilt in giving into being truly sad about a man. You can’t help but compare yourself to other women you admire, and beat yourself up for not being able to soldier on in the way that you assume they would. You ask yourself “What would Beyoncé say if she saw me like this?” Which just makes you cry more. Because Beyoncé.

image00

But I’m going to let you in on a little secret, one that many people don’t know – that there is great strength in vulnerability. It is not weak, or un-feminist, to admit defeat at the hands of a man. In fact, being honest with yourself is the only way you can pick yourself up and be an even stronger, even more badass woman. And allowing yourself time to grieve and truly feel your feelings is exactly why women tend to recover faster, and arguably more healthily than men do. Because we are amazing. You are amazing. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Yes, you. Healing is never a linear process, and you’re doing the best you can.

Written by Sophia Joannides

Twiiter/ Instagram: @fiaurora
Wellness is necessary to living a happy life. Most of us do not realize the blessing good health is until we become ill. The most relatable example is when we catch a cold. We feel miserable for a few days, approved drink more water, get lots of rest, and perhaps take vitamin supplements. Once the bug is gone we continue as per usual. But what if your symptoms are a bit more serious? Perhaps you developed that cold. Perhaps you developed joint pain, fatigue, and sensitivity to certain foods. Maybe it is getting more difficult to perform daily tasks and strenuous activities. The situation described above is what I experienced the months prior to me deciding to take control of my health.

The truth is there is no cure all method to health and wellness. We are all discovering how to interact with the world through our perspectives. Our physical body is another one of the many facets through which we interact. Learning, having goals, making plans, and constantly reevaluating where you are is important when it comes to taking stalk. Alas, if you are wondering how I am finding success, I am more than open to sharing what is creating results for me:

1.My Fitness Pal App/ Food Tracking

 

Source: https://angel.co/myfitnesspal

Knowing what I eat, what nutrients are in it, and seeing how it affects my physical energy levels have really helped me evaluate my food choices. Whether or not I am eating most of my calories in fat, protein, or carbohydrates, and overall evaluating my daily vitamin intake. This app specifically allows users to set a weight-loss based caloric goals daily. The best feature that motivates me the app communicates whether you’ll lose or gain weight in 5 weeks based on the activity you log.

2.Eating More Fruits, Veggies, and Drinking More Water

Source: Gif Keyboard

This is something a lot of people struggle with. However making slight changes in your life can create more opportunities for the integration of new habits. What worked for me at first was incorporating fruits and veggies into one meal a day. When that became “normal” and comfortable I then upped it to two meals a day. If you are trying to transition to a healthier lifestyle it’s all about little changes. The small changes translate to better long-term health habits. I am proud to say I am now vegan because of this practice.

3.Get Up and Move

Source: Gif Keyboard

Turning off my phone, getting away from my computer, and closing out of Netflix to get up and move around for at least 30 minutes a day is what got me physically able to tolerate more demanding physical activity. The most important thing to do is start. Nike Run App, Nike Fit Club, and numerous other apps will create plans for you based on the results you want to see in a designated time frame. Start simple! Start small! Dance for 15 minutes, use the stairs, or go outside and play with you child or pets. Just get up!

4.Commit to Loving Yourself

Source: Gif Keyboard

This is the most important component when making positive lifestyle changes. I simply did not know what behaviors or habits manifest health and wellness. What I have learned has come through experience and education. I am a Complementary and Alternative Health major and that shows I am committed to my health and wellbeing. I learn what is positive for wellness and the opposite; I try to then align my actions with that knowledge.

The most critical thing about losing weight, initiating wellness habits, and creating health for oneself is self-love. The journey I am on and the journey you are on is centered from this source. When I began caring about myself I started to consider what I eat, how much I move, and how often I truly feel alive. I have accepted where I am and the challenge of molding my life in the way that best suits me. That is powerful, and I hope this article inspires you to find the same power within yourself.

Written by Tiff Jai

Twitter & Instagram: @growthjunki

youtube.com/c/growthjunki

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